The walls are as high as the eye can see,
No door to let people get to me.
They can’t get in, I can’t get out
The need for people I forgot about.
This describes the wall I have built around myself, each of the bricks were shaped by negative experiences and are stamped, “do not trust.” I will be the first to admit that I have serious trust issues. Therefore I have always kept people at a distance. Even those I love have no idea of the mental battles I fight on a daily basis.
Unfortunately these same protective walls have caused a life of loneliness. I have no friends because I have not been brave enough to really let people in, to really share a part of me with others. I have spent the majority of my life like this, not realizing that I had to take a risk and open up to let others in, that is until recently.
When I finally stopped fighting myself and asked God to heal my soul I removed the first of many bricks from my wall of protection. Soon after deciding to blog about all of this (which in itself was a frightening thought) I opened up to my husband. Granted my husband knew that I struggled with emotional stuff, but not to what extent. When discussing with him what I wanted to blog about I felt a weight being lifted. At that moment I opened up to him and trusted him fully with my heart. So freeing – another large brick removed.
If you have, like me, built a fortress of protection around you I would like to encourage you to find someone you can open up to, take a risk. The first step is the hardest but well worth the positive returns.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Comments are always welcomed!