Do you ever blame others or circumstances for your actions and/or behavior? I know I have and I could probably give hundreds of examples.
Let’s take smoking for example: I started smoking when I was about 12 or 13 years old – young I know! Why, well for one thing my mom said I could (what was she thinking)?
For many years I blamed my nicotine addiction on my mom, “if it weren’t for her I would have never started smoking.” That was my justification, my excuse. When in reality I probably would have started smoking (we will never know).
My excuse for giving up on my last quit attempt was my husband. He smokes and leaves partial packs of cigarettes everywhere (granted it is more difficult to quit under these circumstances but not impossible). So I blamed him for my failure.
So many excuses: “It’s my mom’s fault”; “It’s my husband’s fault”; “life is too stressful, it’s life’s fault”…and on and on. It is so much easier to blame others instead of holding ourselves accountable for our actions, our feelings, our beliefs about self… In doing so we are not being fair to ourselves or others.
I could continue to blame others and or circumstance for my nicotine addition, my weight, my whatever it is I do not like about myself, but that will not change anything. If I really want to change for the better, than I need to hold myself accountable instead of placing the blame on others.
I am responsible for my own success, failures, happiness…
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