For the past several weeks I have been struggling with severe back and leg pain. The pain is so intense that I have to spend the majority of my days sitting. Because I am someone who is always up and doing, being stopped in my tracks (no pun intended) has really been a mental and emotional battle.
What I have noticed is that even though the pain level is the same (intense) some days are good while others are bad. Certainly causes me to ask why, what is the difference?
I start most days spending one-on-one time with God and each day I have asked to be healed of this physical pain. To date I am still in a great deal of physical pain and even though the pain remains I am becoming aware of God working in my life.
I am learning to trust God more, I may not understand the whys or what for but I know that He is on the throne and in control. He is also teaching me to be more patience. The definition for patience according to Google is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset (Google Search). Granted some days my patience goes out the window but for the most part I am hanging in there.
When I find myself starting to get down, depressed and angry over the situation I remind myself that God is in control and He has only his best for me, I may not understand why I am going through this but I know that He (God) will work out all things for the best.
I hope and pray for this pain in my body to leave but regardless of what happens I know and believe that God’s plan is much greater than anything I could possibly think or imagine.
Note: I do want to note here that I have gone to the doctor about this several times. The doctor ordered an MRI but the insurance company denied it and almost a week ago the doctor ordered another test, I am still waiting to see if this will be approved by the insurance company? If not, I have no idea what to do next.
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